, by SOROOR AHMED
Want to learn the art of bringing investment into the country. Approach Mr Narendra Modi's bosom friend and party's high-flying MP from Gujarat, Babubhai Katara. What is wrong in charging Rs 27 to 30 lakh for transporting a woman or man another country? How is it illegal? Money is coming to the country. Mr Lal Krishna Advani, the party's former President, should stall the proceedings of Parliament in protest against this conspiracy hatched by Sonia Gandhi of Italian origin.
Now the countrymen have understood as to why George Fernandes, when he was the Defence Minister of India and Babulal Gaur, when he was the chief minister of Madhya Pradesh – both good friends of Katara – were frisked at the airport in the United States of America. After all for the cause of fetching more and more money to the country one can undergo any humiliation.
“Do not you know that Gujarat brings in the highest investment in the country?”
“But dacoits too bring in much more investment to their homes,” Mr Modi.
Pat comes the reply: “No, this is all Christian conspiracy. Sonia Gandhi is a Christian; so is the United States of America.”
“But you were always friendly towards the United States, Mr Modi till you were denied visa by that country. After all the lone Super Power of the world was a close ally of yours in the war on terror. Your Prime Minister, Atal Behari Vajpayee is angry with Manmohan Singh because he has taken all the credit of the friendship with the US.”
“No I wanted to go to the United States to bring in more investment. Look I was recently in Japan for the same purpose. But they did not deny me visa. We are a party with a difference. We do everything differently.
“Even demolish mosques and massacre people differently.
“All this is an Islamic conspiracy.”
“But Mr Modi, is it that the US denied visa because you wanted to smuggle women and men into that country?”
“Oh! no. Babubhai Katara is a fool.
“After all he committed no wrong. It was Paramjeet, who got him in trouble.
“No problem. No law of the land can do any harm to me and my Parivar. We are expert in arm-twisting. We do not believe in the Supreme Court. We do not have any faith in the Election Commission, always headed by Christian, James Michael Lyndog, Navin Chawla. We can silence the media. They are all Christians and Muslims.”
“But a large section of media is sympathetic towards you people. Look how they cook up fantastic stories to suit the Parivar.”
“That is all rubbish.”
“But the star is not with you or your party. Last April your leader, Pramod Mahajan was shot by his own brother. This April Pravin's wife, Sarangi, told the court that she was being threatened. And then again on April 18 Katara committed this crime.”
“Crime, what is crime? Crimes are committed by Lalu Prasad, Mayawati, Mulayam Singh Yadav. Their men commit murder, rape, dacoity. They indulge in corruption, booth grabbing. We only earn investment for the sake of Parivar: Paramjeet's parivar too. This is no crime.”
“But there was a media report recently which suggested that the largest number of BJP MPs live with women other than their wives. It is also said that woman was a factor behind the murder of one of your top leaders last year. After all, your own party men distributed CDs showing top leaders in compromising position with women. Your take please.”
“All is fair in love and war. I have only one thing in mind. Bring investment. Look my biggest admirer today is a man called Buddhadev Bhattacharya, the Communist chief minister of West Bengal. He too has the obsession for investment. But he would not succeed until he joins Parivar and do good for some families.”
One last question: “What will happen to Katara?”
“Nothing. Instead he should be rewarded for the great philanthropic work of bringing families together. After all Sandhu and Paramjeet had been living separately. Let NDA come to power at the Centre. Don't you know that none of the Sangh Parivar men and women has ever gone to the jail or has been punished? We demolish mosques, we kill people, we attack media at the drop of a hat, we commit rape, we indulge in Hawala racket, we praise Mohammad Ali Jinnah, the creator of Pakistan. Our brother Bal Thackeray mocked at the President's hair-style, we use choicest words against the Election Commission's diktat. We give a damn to the court ruling. See Shibu Soren is cooling his heels in the jail. Join our party and nothing will happen. See how smart Navjot Singh Sidhu is! He joined us and thus has been bailed out.”